Fated Muse
by Shin-kai Syndrome
Summary: Sometimes, fate bind us into a life we despise. Even so, we struggle to live. Here, Yayoi fall deep back into her memory and feel back that time, when she find her first courage to roll deep into music with her own hands and... Her first encounter with a certain blonde which she is unware of, even now. (this ff is dedicate to my friend, BrendaMugler. B,Here's ur OTP!)


**Disclaimer: I do not own Psycho Pass and the characters.  
Warning: terrible grammar and contain mild yuri … so it's rated T for safe.**

**BRENDA MUGLER ! Here's your OTP~  
Btw, I've never written Yuri before, so I this is some-sort of experimental ff to me. Only a one-shot… and don't blame me if it's bad and ****did not contain lemon****(I still can't write. Q.Q Gomen.). Well, still hope you enjoy this. This is your Christmas prez neh~XD**

* * *

Ring and rings through my mind,  
Endless growl of a beast,  
Shout out everything that bottle inside this human core of mine.

This is 'her' muse…

That make me admire and fell in love at first sight.

**Fated Muse**

"All these piece of plastic metal world that put up a prison? The outburst of a sound never cover enough the rolling deceit? Yayoi… your lyrics ain't that bad… but I would appreciate if you add something sexy or suggestive in it~" A certain blonde say that as she sneak a glance at me, her hands never stop typing on the 3 keyboards.

"Shion, concentrate on your work and give me back the lyrics paper."

I state with an expression that never betray my feelings, as I snatch back a piece of paper that was scribble with lyrics I'm working on.

Shion only smirk, as she give me a knowing smile, "Oh~ come on. You know how well I can do two jobs with this one brain of mine…" and she playfully use the tip of her heels to trace my leg. "*Neh~ Yayoi~~ let's do it.. N-E-H ?." her heels never stop caressing my legs, placing soft tug here and there. God, sometimes she tends to irritate me purposely.

"Back to your own work please, Shion. My shift is starting in an hour. I've no mood for that."  
I state sternly, while I divert my attention to the piece of work on my hand.. I start to regret on choosing to come here now. I came here to escape some paper works, and to write some songs.. but it seems that Shion choose to be inconsiderate and horny today… thanks to her constant assaults for the past 30 minutes… I hardly finish the second verse!

"Eh~*Mou, Yayoi~" Shion pout, her expression never change much, still smirking and staring at me, like a child that is eyeing on the last piece of cookie… To be exact, she is staring only at a specific place on my body. Yes, the place where most guys would stare… I'll just ignore her.

With a flip to the back, I stretch my hand and took a computerize helmet that was use to online. In my case, as a enforcer, this helmet can only serve as my personal diary, document storage and alarm clock. I wear it, despite Shion's hissing and pouting that I haven't laid her today, finally block out all her noise.

After setting an alarm to wake me, I drift into a short nap…

Into the darkness...

* * *

"Aoi!"

...Hmm?

"Aoi~~~!"

This voice.

Nostalgic...  
De-ja-vu…  
Where did I heard it before? Familiar, slip in between the scents I long for, like a sepia photo from a part of my memory.

I open my eyes, just to see a mob of raven locks.

"…"  
I look at this girl in front of me. She looks older than me. She have black iris that compliment her long wavy black locks that reach her waist, with a thick streak of gold highlights at her right bangs. A red mini skirt adorn her slight plump hourglass figure, her legs cover in net stocking, with a pair of black leather ankle-boots equip with 4-inch heels. She is smiling brightly, a little devilish but a brilliant smile, nothing less.

"You are Aoi-chan right~? Your friend, Brandy's performance was pull forward, so she couldn't come and fetch you. Soo… I'm here in her place, as your guide of the day to the club."

She smile as she pat my head.

Gosh. I'm already 14, don't treat me like a child… I grab her hand that began to ruffle with my hair. "Please stop that, oba-san. Anyway, what's your name, obaa-san?"  
"*Hidoi-neh~, you little ojou-chan . My name, you can just call me 'Jin'. It's wht most people call me anyway~ and it's easy to remember. See? This gold highlights on my hair? Ya, Just remember my name by this~(Cause Jin means gold) I'm a part-time singer at the underground club like your friend Brandy too~." She explain as she start to walk.

"Oh." I reply, following her. Not that I believe others easily… but since she call me Aoi, means she did know Brandy. Brandy is an underground singer that I'm very close to, the first person that expose me to rock music. To be able to go into cellar clubs, I got help from her to disguise myself as a high school girl. She is also the only one who know my real name, which obviously not 'Aoi'…

Today, Brandy got the chance to perform at another cellar club, so she promise to bring me along… I spare a glance at this weird girl. I guess Brandy trust this Jin enough to let her guide me to the new cellar club.

After a 10 minute walk, we arrive at a green metal door that located at a narrow backstreet. She knock it in a rhythmic way and show a guy that came out a small red card. I follow her, going in the narrow space and walk down a flight of stairs before I start to hear the noise I love. Syncopated beats, strong rhythm, heavy drumming and the endless plucks on the electric guitar never fail to send a jolt of electricity down my spine.. Every time I'm exposed to these addictive music, I feel free.

Then, I see the crowds. Everyone is high just on music… maybe a few on alcohol and drugs. The humidity inside here is intense, as I began to sweat. But who cares? Music is what matter.

"Ara, I thought you never smile."

Jin look at me, with a softer gaze this time.

"You really enjoy rock music, aren't 'ya?"

I nod, the smile on my lips grow wider when I realize the one on the stage is Brandy. Jin join me, as both of us scream the songs and join everyone move on the beats of the electronic waves of melody.

It's like everything does not matter to us anymore. The only thing stay in our mind is the screams and heated feeling of the music. That's why I love rock music. They are the true nature of humans, all our desires and dirty wishes, aren't they the truest? The music only reflected on what is true, not covering it or make us lie to ourself that everything is alright. The music I like, tell me what I wanted to say. Straightforward, they represent my voice to shout out all my confusion and the feeling of being lost. They did not twist and turn or cover with fake sweet promises or sugar coat with impossible hopes… especially on an era like this, where we have no control on our life, with psycho pass as a guideline to fulfill our 'happy' life.

'happy'…  
As if.  
When you are stamped on as the weakest in everything you wanted to achieve…  
But no matter how, I would never let this stupid system take away MY MUSIC.

"Saiko-neh, Aoi-chan?"

Jin beam at me, her face flush from all the dancing and the heated atmosphere here.

I smile from the bottom of my heart. Jin looks like she also enjoy just as much as I do. She is also one of the people who understand all this, right?  
I shouted to her, "Hait! Honto nii Saikou daa!" (yes! This is the best!)  
Yes, I'm feeling like I'm in the real heaven, the best place on earth! Of course everything is just superb!  
_'I never smile this much, only to rock music…' _I thought as I laugh along the crowd.

Than.. I caught Jin smile tenderly at me. It's like a warm starlight in this small dark space... I was stun for a moment and only watching her bending her waist, shortening the height between both of us, and her pretty face inch closer...

Something I did not expect is…

I'll lost my first kiss right now, right here.

Jin kiss me.

My face must have flushed deep red as I felt that all my blood rush to my face in that frozen moments.  
Jin only chuckle as she lick the bottom of my lips, before she let go of my lips.  
"Aah… gomen, did I startled you?" She shout near me, as the noise here is very loud. I was still shock from the kiss earlier… I mean, what is your reaction when you are kissed by a girl? If You're a guy, than it's fine, perhaps you'll even think that you're lucky because Jin is the type of girl all guys want to spent a night with… But I'm a girl.

My eyes still widen, and I only stare at her with confusion.

She stuck her tongue out and wink at me, with a tint of apology.

"Ahaha… gomen-neh, I got the habit of kissing someone when I'm high or bored."

… Ya right….

Am I suppose to believe that?

I sulk a little, but decide not to take this incident by heart.  
I don't really care 'bout these things… Still…  
I touch my lips, which still have a tint of sticky warmth.  
That's my first kiss.  
I almost sweat-drop, thinking 'bout that.

My attention went back to the stage, when a flowing long drum beats accompany by a flawless 'choking' on the guitar, follow by a string of cheering and screaming for anchor. It's the end of Brandy's performance, and she waves to the shouting crowd before disappearing into the back-stage.

A sudden grip on my hand make me turn to look at Jin, and without warning, she pull me to walk and make me squeeze between the crowd while sing "Let's go to the back-stage~"

And me, being smaller in size, desperate to follow her pace without stumbling on the floor.

Finally, I am able to breathe the moment we arrive at the backstage. Brandy was face-palming the moment she saw how I was pull along by Jin, and smack Jin on her forehead.  
While me, I was rubbing softly the red mark on my wrist thanks to a certain blonde that pull it until I thought it might break any minute.

"… I already said sorry, Brandy~ come on, Aoi did not say she mind it~"

I only glare Jin, "Ya. Right, I don't mind it at all. My hand feels like it will disconnect any moment and I had my foot step on at least 5 times And I don't mind it at all…" I sarcastically remark.

Jin only look at me with that not-really apologetic smile while Brandy glare at her.

"Okok… sorry again."

She said while the look on her face does not show her apologies... But, when she flash her wide grin, I can't help but feeling goosebumps creeping out.

"Jin! Its your turn!" A guy shouted from the sound control corner.

"Ok…" Her eyes never leave me. "Just . A . Minute~"

Her grin spread wider on her face… like she's plotting something.

" Aoi-chan… do you know how to use a guitar?"

* * *

"Jin-san, I-I mean…"

I was push on the stage just like that, while the person that contributed on forcing me here is currently smiling beside me, grabbing a mike which LED lights covered the handle and flashing vibrant colors.

"There~ No problem. You look just hot with that red lip stick I applied on you."

"Damn, that's not what I mean!" I hiss at her, trying to squeeze in some logic into her… "I never perform before!"  
"That's not a problem~ Everyone have their first-time! Anyway, you know how to play the song I'm going to sing, so… calm your tilts, ojou-chan! Even Brandy say it's fine~"

Talk about Brandy. I never thought she would agree on this. I sigh as I look at the crowd in front of me…  
_My heart is beating._  
No,I can't.  
_My palm hold tightly on the guitar, sweating like never before._  
I like music, but I've always been the one that is enjoying it, not performing it!

"Aoi-chan?"

I really can't do it… I never can. I never succeed on anything in anything.  
Just like how my psycho pass show me. I only want to enjoy music… How would I do if the only thing I can count on turns into nightmare?  
Then I'll be truly alone…

Is my psycho pass value increasing now?

"Aoi-chan…"

Stop being negative… Stop thinking the bad things that would happen…  
I can't fail. Yet I failed always.  
I should have been a perfect human.  
My parents wanted me like that. My teachers wanted me like that.

I WANTED MYSELF LIKE THAT.

But… I never achieve anything.

I fail miserably…

"Aoi-chan!"

My train of thoughts stop abruptly when a huge force slap my back. My heart feel like they were forcefully punch out and my back sting. Since I didn't prepare for this sudden attack, the impulsive force swings me directly into direction of the net force, with the my weight and the weight of the guitar I am holding add-on to the momentum…

In short, I'm tripping forward down the stage.

Shock, I shut my eyes, waiting for the sound of my body crashing down the crowd and pain to corrode my body from the impact… But nothing happens. Strictly say, it's not nothing happen… I got a feeling someone pulled me up, and I feel warmer than before.

"Mou… be more careful, won't 'ya? It'll hurt a lot if you fall down like that."

I open my eyes to find that I'm in Jin's embrace. One of her hand was secure around my waist, as to prevent me from falling down further, and another hand hold firmly on my wrist. I can hear my heart, pumping hard and fast from the initial shock. I can hear Jin panting, and feel the warm air she breath out. Her eyes, as dark as onyx, look into mine in such a close distance… And make me remember the earlier incident which she kissed me.  
Shit! I can feel my face getting heated seconds by seconds…

In a few seconds, when I regain my control, I pull myself out of her embrace.

"Whose fault do you think it is? Don't smack others back out of the blue!" I hissed, glaring at the smiling blonde.

"Mou…" She place her hand on my head.

Her expression soften once more, and she brush my hair with slow, calming strokes.

"Neh, just don't think too much about this…"

"Because making music don't need here~" she poke her index finger at my forehead , than she move and point the left side of her chest with her thumb.  
"It's here that matters. And you have it, right?"

Music is all about here….heart.

I look at her, whom I barely knew for a few hours… Even so, she approves my existence more than anyone I know.

Picking up the guitar, holding them firmly in my hand…

It's fine.

My eyes follow her movement, as she stand back to the center spot, her hand slightly brushing her hair behind her ears.  
"SO! WHAT'S FOR TONIGHT~!?"

The spot light shone over her existence, enveloping the dark space of this cellar pub where people who do not enjoy being normal. The crowd shouts and scream. My heart skip a beat. Jin scream a chord of the music, and it echo through the compact place. The light and explosive sound burst my senses as I no longer feel anything anymore… just the plucking of the guitars and endless streaming of high _vivace_ (quick) notes.

My heart is pumping faster than before. My whole body feels as though it was… burning with an unusual feeling… a strength that keeps me moving my hands and all my heart into the music.

And the person standing ahead me, the center of the light…

Jin look back at me as she reach her hands out, her face lighten with brilliant colors.  
Her radiance only become greater as the song goes on…

I understand now, all these feelings.

So… I wish this never stops.

* * *

"Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!"

I was pulled back to reality.

The moment I open my eyes, the clear image moments ago fades away, like it's all something far away… A warm memory I guess? I can't pick up the details now, no matter how hard I try to think back.

"Ah, Yayoi~ You're awake. Good timing, Akane-chan just ring in for you~"

"Noted."

Checking a few documents on my psycho pass, I nod to Shion and prepare to take my leave…

… I wonder why I feel like in a good mood? Maybe afternoon nap does have that effect…

"Yayoi, hope to see you back in peace~ in BED~" Shion smirk as she highlighted that one word.

"Other than that don't you have other stuff to talk about… But I guess I'll see you tonight."

Shion smile suggestively to me as I walk out of the room. I look at her until the metal door close and her smile separated behind the cold solid.

... I guess I did fall for her smile…  
Even though I felt that I forget something important…  
Important… that smile… and a strange, warm feeling every time Shion lift her lips in that beautiful curve…

"Beep! Beep!"

I press the receive button, only hear a chain of orders from my current superior and walk in a fast pace to our meeting destination…

And forget everything I was thinking back then.

* * *

"Yayoi… neh…"

Well~ my name is Shion, and I'm currently working my hands on…my usual stuff. Geez. Don't they know keeping a lady in front a few big computers ain't good at all? This Is Boring! I want Yayoi now… Like, her soft lips that would melt whenever I kiss, the pale complexion that seems to shine with beads of sweat when we are having pleasure… she would shutter and blush as I blew into her ears and she'll bite the nape of my neck when I pinch her... Besides, I love that hard fingers of her from years of guitar playing roughly finger through… and the moment that sent both of us jots of joy when we hit each other's sweet spot …

"*Ara~ What am I thinking? Gotta finish this first…" My hands continue to run over two keyboards. Gotta get this pile of shit done so that tonight I can have some real ~ fun~

"Ah!"

When I turn around to fetch my cup of coffee, I accidentally knock down a pile of documents… Geez. This is going to take forever. I kneel to pick up my stuff and my eyes stop at a familiar notebook. A black notebook with some pinks skulls that I used to love. A photo is inserted between the yellow pages…

"How nostalagic."

I smile at that picture.

A picture of a group of youngster making music… and in the center is a girl with wavy black hair and highlighted her right bangs with gold color hugging a pouting young girl with short black hair.

"Hmm… do I look that different now?" I wonder, as I look at the short black hair girl…Aoi…or should I say Yayoi. She doesn't seem to remember the me back then.

Oh well, everything does not matter… since the two girls inside this picture is happy in their own way.  
No matter how this world had become. No matter what situation they are in…Birds in cage, being latent prisoners and all… it doesn't matter.

What matter, is if we still have a heart, and a soul to continue life the way we want.

_(FIN)_


End file.
